Patience Loader Reminiscences

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After we left camp that Morning we was overtaken by Brother William Cluff[.] he came riding very fast to overtake us after Joseph A Young got back to there camp at Florance[,] he told the Breathren who it was that Kept the fires up all night[,] said we had Sickness in the family and could not go on with the company[.] Br Cluff said that he would ride out away and overtake us and try to help us a little way[.] he fetched arope with him and tied it to our handcart then to the pum[m]el of his Sad[d]le and gave us a rest[.] first he helped brother Jakes away[,] then he help[ed] My dear father and us girls for which I was very thankfull more on the ac[c]ount of our dear sick father than for us girls because we was young and healthey in those days[.] nevertheless this was ahard Journey on booth Young and old[.] Bro cluff said he was sorry to leave us but he had to return to his camp at Florance[.] we thanked him very Kindly for coming to help us and we reluctantly bid him good bye for we truely fealt that we would have liked to had his company and help untill we caught up with the company but this could not be[.]

it was not safe for Indians for a Man to travel alone[.] Br Cluff had not left us very long[,] we hardly was out of sight of him when five great Indians came out of a cave in the Mountains[,] got on there horses and came to Meet us[.] they was all painted[,] bare naked[,] except there brick [breech] cloth[,] had there tomahawks and hatchet[,] bows an[d] arows[.] they stopt us in the road[,] talked but we could not understand them[.] when they saw our Sick and My sister with her New born babe thay mooved out of the road and motioned for us to go on[.] I think this was so near to beign [being] killed by Indians as I wish to be[.] thay was quite impodent in there Man[n]ers to us and Made fun of us pulling the handcart[.] we was some what afraid of them and I daresay thay could See we was afraid of them[.] at the same time we put our faith and trust in God our Father that he would take care of us and not let those Indians hurt us or do us harm[.] I know it was nothing but the power of God that saved us from those Indians that day we was all alone traveling in the Mountains and hills all that day[.]

after the Indians left us we traveled On for an hour or more[.] we came to aplace w[h]ere some folks had camped[.] the fiors [fires] was still burning and we thought it was whare our company had camped but not know then that Indians had been camping there[.] we had dinner there[.] I warmed Some grewel [gruel] for my sick sisters[.] after dinner we girls thought we would take a little walk out from camp while father and Mother rested alittle: we had not gone far from camp when we came to four or five newly made graves and we picked up awomans green sun bonnet which we recanized as belonging to sister Williams who left with Mr[.] Babet [Babbitt] three days before we left the camp at Cuttlers Park[.]

Mr Babbet was a man that had come out from Salt L City to the states to purchas[e] good[s.] he had a train of some five or six loaded wagons with teems and teemsters[.] he came into our camp he sais if we had any letters to send into the City to friends that he would take them for us as he would reach there long before we would[.] he also said that he could take two pirsons along with him[,] free of charge[,] as he had plenty of room in his light spring wagon and this sister Williams husband had allready gone to Utah the year previous and She had a young baby she told Mr Babbet that she would like to go with him[.] he waited in camp untill Morning[.] Many wrote letters and gave to him to take to there friends in Utah and Mrs Williams started with Mr Babbet for Utah with the Antisipation of getting to the valley before the cold weather came[.]

poor dear woman never dreaming of the sadd fate that awaited her and Mr Babbet and his Men teemsters: at the very place we came too camp for dinner was w[h]ere this Murder was committed by the Indians[.] may be those Indians we Meet was some of those that had helped in the murder and rob[b]ery of Babbes train of good[s.] We Saw whare wagons had been burn[e]d as there was wagon tires lieing around near the graves[.] there was only one Man teemster left to tell the sadd news[.] he said Babbet was shot in his wagon[.] the woman the Indians put on a horse and took her away with them but he did not know what became of her child and we found the green sun bonnet[.] it was good for us that we did not [know] all this when those Indians stopt us in the road[.]

we would surely have thought that we would have to share the same fate as Babbet and his company shared but thank God our lives was spared and again I will acknowledge the hand of God to have been over us that day[.] we will now leave this camp and travel on in persuit of our company[.] we traveled rather quietly along as the night began to draw in on us and we was geting tiard of pulling our loaded carts all day and my poor dear father feeling sick and weak and tiard and my two dear sisters so sick and tiard[.] never will I forget that terrable loanly night[.] for Miles we was sur[r]ounded with prary fires[.] it looked as though the fires was geting so near us on booth sides that the fire would overtake us before we could find the company[.] we traveled on[,] the Moon was shining[.] that was in our favor[.] at length we saw which we thought was atent with alight in it but when we got near to it we discovered it to be an Indian wick[i]up[.]

there was a very large dog lieing at the enterence of the tent[.] we began to feel afraid less the dog should come at us and that would have aroused the Indians[.] thay Must have been asleep dog and all <for> the dog never noticed us at all[.] we was verry thankfull for this narrow escape from those Indians[.] here again we had great reason to return our thanks to God our Father for protecting us from this dangerous event[.]

we traveled along very quiet for about two more Miles nearly falling asleep in our harnes[s]. then we came to abarn or stable and by the light of the Moon we Saw aman standing at the door[.] My dear father stopt and in his Kind and gentle maner said good evening sir[.] he never Answer[e]d[.] then father said have you Seen a company of handcart people pass this way[?] could you Kind[ly] tell me[?] in avery rough course Maner this man Sais Yes I saw them pass[.] father said would you be so Kind to tell us w[h]ere we can find them[,] how far we will have to travel to there camp[?] again this ugley fellow spake in the same rough Manner as before[.] he said ah it is along way from here[.] several Miles[.] father thanked the Man and bid him good night but he never made any reply. when we got away My dear father said I did not like that fellows manner at all[.] I said neither did I[.] let us hurrey an[d] away from him as fast as we can[.] we did not Know if there was any more nen [men] or not in the barn and we was afraid that thay would follow us so we hur[ri]ed along as fast as we could travle with our two inveleads [invalids] poor dear creatures and the dear little new born babe and my poor dear father So weak and tierd[.] how faithfully did he keep up all that long day he pulled the cart all day[.] he had such strong faith in the blessings that the Servants of God had pronounced upon him at Florance [Florence] that he should get better and should reach the valleys of the Mountains he did get better for a time and was able to pull the cart again for two or three weeks[.] then he became very sick and died on the 24 of september 1856:

but here I must now return to our last days travle to find the company after we left the Man at the barn we traveled about two or three Miles before we came to there camp[.] the Moon was [s]hining clear and when we first see the tents then we all fealt to rejoice and fealt that we was not alone any more for we had surely fealt very lounsom [lonesome] all day not Knowing the road[.] we did not know if we was on the right road to find the company or not for we had not meet or Seen a living beign [being] all day since we saw those five Indians that stopt us in the road untill we saw that strange Men standing at the barn door[.] as we came near the camp[.] the guard called out who comes there[?] we answered friend and told him who we was[.] he Said you cannot Make afire or put up your tent to night[.] no fire or lights alowed everything has to be very quiet here and we will have to move on early in the morning[.]

I told the guard that we had two sick sisters[:] one Just confin[e]d and that they boath neeced [needed] some thing warm[.] I had a little flour gumel [gruel] allready cooked and it only needed to be warmed[.] we had picked up alittle dry kindeling[.] I said it will not take five minut[e]s to Make alittle fire and warm the grewel[.] the guard left[.] I told him I would be carefull and not make a big fire and in a few Minut[e]s he could come and put the fire out so he did[.] I gave My sisters some little nureshment and we all laid down on the ground to sleep coverd with our quilts[.] we had nothing to eat that night[.] the last we had to eat that day was at twelve clock in the day as near as we could tell the time[;] how ever we was all very tiard and soon fell asleep as it was past two oclock when we found the camp[,] we did not have very long to sleep[.] we was awakened very early and had to travle on before we had breakfast then we camped and got something to eat[.] this was quite hard on us as we had no supper after we got in camp[.] at the same time it seemed we did not suffer with hunger[.]

it seemed the Lords fitted the back for the burden[.] every day we realised that the hand of God was over us and that he made good his promices unto us day by day[.] as we Know God our Father has promised us these blessings if we will call on him in faith[.] we Know that his promises never fail and this we prooved day by day[.] we Knew that we had not strength of our own to perform such hardships[.] if our heavenly Father had not help[ed] us and we prayed unto God continuely for his help and we allways acknowledged his goodness unto us day by day[.] Sometimes in the Morning I would feel so tiard and feel that I could not pull the cart the day through[.] then the still small voice would w[h]isper in my ear as thy day thy strength shall be[.] this would give me new strength and energy and thus we traveled on day after day[,] week after week[,] and for four Month[s] before we reached the valley; we would travel all day and when we got into camp we would get somelittle to eat then we would Sit around the camp fire and sing the Songs of Zion[.] oh Yes and our favorite hand cart song[:] some must push and some must pull as we go Marching up the hill untill we reach the valley. . . [.]

I am very thankfull to say that my sister Jaques got safely over her confindment[.] it was indeed wounderfull that she did not take any severe cold having to sleep out doors the first night after her baby was born[,] could not be attended to and taken care off as she should have been at such atime[,] neither herself nor child could have proper care: and through all this she lived and her baby too and came into the valley with the rest of the family[.] how ever she lived through it all is a great mystrey for she was a weakly delicate woman[.] in this instance we must again acknowledte the hand of God for of her ownself she never could have accumplished this long and severe Journey and withstood the cold weather[.] God Surely was mindfull of her and gave her strength according to her day[.]

also my dear Sister Tamar that in the first of the Journey[,] she hurt her side pulling the handcart[,] then had Mountain fever So very bad that she became so weak and low that one time we thought she could not live[.] we pulled her on the hand cart as long as we could untill the change came and she was begin[n]ing to get some better[.] then she and my sister with her new born babe was al[l]owed to ride for a time in the wagon with the other inveleads [invalids.] this was in the month of september and our dear father was begin[n]ing to get very weak and food was get[t]ing Short[.] day by day his strength began to fail him[.] Some day[s] he was not able to pull the cart but had to walk[.] one evening when we goto camp he had walked seventeen miles with Mother helping him[.] he sais My dear girls I was not able to get any wood to Make you afire and he fealt so bad about it[.] I said never Mind[,] father[,] we have got some wood on the cart and we will soon have afire and make you alittle warm grewel[.] we had alittle flour[.] we laid him down on some quilts untill we could get the tent up[,] then he was unable to raise himself and had to be carr[i]ed into the tent[.] that was the last day he was able to walk[.]

the next Morning I got [up] very early to Make a fire and Make him a little more flour grewel[.] that was all we had to give him but before I could get it ready for him[,] my sister Zilpha called to [me] Saying patience come quick[,] our father is dieing and when I got into the tent my poor Mother and all our family[:] four Sisters[,] My youngest brother Robert[,] ten years old[,] and my brother in law John Jaques was all Kneeling on the ground around him[.] poor dear father realizing he had to leave us[,] he was to[o] weak to talk to us[,] he looked at us all with tears in his eyes[,] then he said to Mother with great diffulcuty he said you Know I love My children[.] then he closed his eyes[.] thees was the last words he ever said[.] he seem[ed] to fall asleep[.] he breathed quiet and peacefull[.]

we called in Brother Loane[.] he was captain of the company[.] he saw father was dieing[.] he sais the company will have to start soon[,] he sais[,] you had better take down your tent and put him up in the wagon[.] I ask him if one of us could ride with him to take care of him [,] he said no[.] then we siad we would not let father be put in the wagon[.] we would put him on the handcart[.] then we could take care of him[.] so we made a bed of our quilts and laid him on the cart[.] that day we had a very hard Journey as we had to travel through the sandy bluffs[.] it was very hard pulling so much up hill and deep sand we got to the top of the hill about one o clock this was the 23 of september[,] the sun was scorching hott so bad for my dear die[i]ng father on the top a hill not the least shade for him[.] we had to stay there all day but very little to eat untill all the companys got up the hill[.]

so many gave out and the wagons was loaded with the tents and what provisions there was[.] some of the oxen gave out[.] that was a terrable day never to be forgotten by us and poor father dieing on the hand cart[.] he did not seem to suffer pain[.] he never opened his eyes after he closed them in the morning[.] it was a great comfort to us all that we had him with us on the cart as the teems had such a terrable time to get through the sand and the last of them did not get up untill it was dark[.] the breathren came to adminester to father in the afternoon[.] they anointed him oil[.] his lips was so dry and parched[,] they put oil on his lips[.] then he opened his Mout[h] and licked the oil from his lips and smiled but did not Speak[.] the breath[r]en Knew he was dieing[.] they said we will seal father Loader up to the Lord for him alone is worthy of him[.] he has done his work[,] been afaithfull Servant in the church and we the Servants of God Seal him unto God our Father: and to our su[r]prise my dear father said amen so plain that we could understand him and there lay with such asweet smile on his face[.] that was the last word he said Amen to the blessing the breathern pronounced upon him and he seemed to Know and understand all they said and we ourselv[e]s thought he could neither hear or speak for many times dureing the day I spoke to him quite loud and ask[ed] him if he knew me or could he hear me[,] but he never noticed me[.] as when Mother would speak to him[,] he never took the least notice and we concluded that he was uncon[s]cious but when the breathren came to adminester to him[,] it seemed that he understood all thay said by saying Amen:

we started again from that place at Six o clock in the evening to find a camping place So we could get wood and water[.] it got dark long before we campt[.] we traveled over brush and on awfull rough road[.] we did not camp untell past ten oclock[.] we could not moove poor father as he was not yet dead so we put the tent up and took the hand cart into the tent and our dear father died[.] he breathed his last at fifteen minut[e]s past eleven o clock at night[.] that had been avery hard and trying day on us all and we spent asor[r]owfull night for we had lost and was bereft of one of the best of earthly fathers[.] he was a man that was deviatedly fond of his wife and children[.] I can say he was proud of his children[.] we was nine daughters and four sons[.]

the next morning Br S[amuel]. S[tephen]. Jones and his brother dug two graves[,] one for my poor father and the other for a welch brother his name was Jam[e]s[.] he had no relatives[,] he was traveling alone to Utah[.] this was asevere trial[.] here we had to [w]rap my dear father in a quilt all we had to lay him in[;] no nice casket to lay him away in comfortable but put into the grave and the earth thrown in upon his poor body[.] oh that sounded so hard[,] I will never forget the sound of that dirt beign [being] shoveld onto my poor fathers boday[.] it seemed to me that it would break every bone in his body. it did indeed seem a great trial to have to leave our dear father behind that morning knowing we had looked upon that sweet smiling face for the last time on earth but not without a hope of Meeting him again in the Morning of the resurection for he had been afaithfull servant of God and bore testemony to the truth of the gosple of Jesus Christ nombers of times and we Know if we his children follow his example that we will Meet our dear father again and be reunited with him to dwell in unity and love all through eternity and as our dear Mother and we girls traveled that day[,] it was a verey Sorrowfull day and we all greeved greatly[.]

Daniel Tyler

Brother Daniel Tyler came to us and tryed to comfort us by telling that our father was afaithfull true servant of God[.] he said he had not strength to endure the hard Journey[.] he said father had laid down his life for the gosple sake[.] he had died amaster [a martyr] to the truth[.] he had suffered Much but was faithfull to the last and he would wear a Marters crown. of course this was all very comforting to us but it did not bring our dear father back to us at the Same time we [k]new that our loss was his gain. we also knew that he fealt sorrey to leave us on the plains on such a hard Journey without a man to help us to get wood or put up our tent or take it down in the Morning and food was begin[n]ing to get short rations and the cold weather would overtake us before we could get to Salt Lake[.] all this caused him to feel bad and as long as he was able to do anything[,]

he worked after we got in camp Makeing tent pins[.] he Made us a sack full of tent pins[.] he said to us girls I have Made you lots of tent pins because when the cold weather comes you will not be able to make tent pins Your hands will be so cold[.] by this we Knew that he would not live the Journey through and he also grieved to Know that Mother and we girls would not have any one to help us make a home as [or] help us to make aliving. yes he had allways been a good Kind husband and father[.] good at all times to provide for his family. when he was well along the first part of our Journey[,] he enjoyed himself very much and he would try to encurage us girls all he could for he Knew how it was for us to pull a handcart every day and he Knew that I for one thought it was the hardest way we could have started on such along Journey[.]

I said when the word came to father for us to be ready by July to start by handcart to go to the valley[.] I told father we had all got into good work and if we stay in new York untill the next Spring that we could get agood outfitt to cross the plains and not have to pull ahandcart which would have been far better and I beleive our dear father would have lived and got to Salt Lake City[.] we would not have buried him on the plains[.] we comfort to our Minds our father had a good deep grave[.] the two Kind brothers Samuel and Albert Jones dug him a deep grave so that the wolves could not get to him and we all fealt to thank and ask God to bless our breathren for there Kindness to us in our great Sorrow and Berevement. I could say many more good and great things about my dear father but this must suf[f]ice for the preasant and pass on to more of my experence in this Journey for we all surely had and past through many great trials and the night and morning began to get very cold[.]

Patience Loader Reminiscences - continued, page 3

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